"Fake it till you become it"

TED Talk by Amy Cuddy

This is still my favorite ted talk!
I have some stressful interviews soon, so I'm gonna do the power pose!

Tokyo life

As I am getting used to living back in tokyo, I am starting feeling like living in Bellingham was a dream and not real... It is just... weird

I miss hiking even if it's raining.
I miss going on a bike ride on a sunny day and catching a sunset.
I miss getting together with my friends spontaneously and doing some weird thing.
I miss local breweries.

It is really hard to play outside and connect with natures in Tokyo.
Of course, there are many things that I love about living in Tokyo, I literally miss my friends and Bellingham!


Beside my weird feelings, my plans for this year have been figured.

First of all, my internship is officially set. yay! I am going to be working for a resort in Palau. It is not really ecotourism job, but I thought it would be a great place to work while enjoying the sunshine and water activities such as diving. I will be able to get diving certification, which was one of my dream.
It is not Fiji nor New Zealand, and there is no mountains nor beaches (it is rock islands), but I am hoping to have some cultural experiences with local people!
Interestingly, Palau and Japan has a strong relationship and Palau is getting popular for Japanese tourists. So I will be speaking both English and Japanese. (I think that is why the working condition is pretty good for me... Food and accommodation will be provided)

I will be there from June 24 to September 12th. Then I will be leaving Japan for Bellingham on September 20th!!
well, this is super exciting so there is no need to be feeling weird right now, right?

Second of all, I will have to be back to Japan AGAIN right after fall quarter because of my brother's wedding. It is right after christmas so I will be in Tokyo for like couple weeks during winter break.
But I want to be back to Bellingham afterword and do some internship or volunteering around Bellingham, and then traveling somewhere in the US or Costa Rica or Fiji or New Zealand.... haha I don't know if that will happen, but it's just my thought.

Alright, that was some my updated :)
the point is, I miss Bellingham.

Alright I'm doing it

It's been only 5 days since I came back home, and obviously I am not doing well with this blog...
So, today I will introduce you my favorite festivals in Japan!

What's going on in Japan beginning of Spring? Yes, Cherry Blossoms!
Because cherry trees are literally EVERYWHERE in Japan, you can see beautiful views from the ending of March to the beginning of April.
Cherry blossoms are bloomed only for a week, so people enjoy this short period of time with good foods and drinks as much as they can. They have parties (it's legal to drink outside), picnic or potlucks under cherry trees both during the day and at night. Many people also enjoy it at night as well, especially after their work. During this season, they have Sakura(cherry blossoms in Japanese)festivals, food tracks and drinks and so on. It gets really busy and it's pretty overwhelming in Tokyo though.

It had been three years since I was in Japan during cherry blossom season, so I was really excited to see all trees and eat/drink under the trees:)
Here is what I actually did...

My favorite running trail

Picnic with my sisteeeeer

In Roppongi (famous place for clubbing and parties.Lol)

Cherry blossoms at night

My best friends from high school;)

Blogging is overwhelming

I decided to keep this HR blog! Yay!

I never keep my blogs or journals for more than 1 month, so I am not sure how long this blog will last but I will try. At least, while I am away from Bellingham. I want to keep my friends updated what's going on with my life, briefly. Even if I am not keeping in tough with you, you know what I am doing by reading this blog, right? well, I have Facebook Twitter Instagram so it'll be overwhelming but that's okay. it is about utilizing technology.... and Keith's class:)

Anyways, I have two dreams for now.
One is to travel around the world and experience other cultures. I will basically write about my journeys in this blog and hopefully this will help me to review my cross-cultural experiences in the future. (I forget things so easily.)
The other one is more like my wish, but it is "to be able to call Bellingham my home legally". I know this is almost impossible. dang, I wish Bellingham was separated from the country! but my heart is in Bellingham! ... and Tokyo too.

This is real though...

Blog Pos 3#: The Conflict and Power Distance

I have believed that I can keep it peaceful if I compromise or sacrifice myself, especially if there is a power distance between two parties. However, because I compromise in order to avoid conflicts, I do not learn anything from the conflicts, and I make same mistakes over and over and I face to the same conflicts over and over.

That was my default conflict style.

In my family, my mom and I always cause conflicts, and my dad is the mediator. Because I know I can’t compete with my mom, so I always compromise and try to avoid unnecessary conflicts. As a consequence, I ignore things that I hate about my mom, which makes her even more frustrated. I also know that I can’t win in an argument with her. So I always talk with my dad (the mediator) about what I want and what I don't like about her. (She knows that I complain to my dad instead of talk to her, so she also mad at not only me but also my dad, and then they would start a new conflict. I feel bad for him, well...I don't, because he is always on her side)

There are so many reasons of our conflicts. We are similar, but we have completely different believes and values. For example, when I wanted to climb mt Fuji, she didn't let me, because she doesn't like "dangerous" things. but I am much more adventurous than her and she doesn't like it. so I've never been to the top of mt Fuji (it's like 12,000 feet). Crazy.

There was one time when I did not compromise nor avoid, but I collaborate with her—it was when I decided to quite my university and go to WWU.

It meant a lot to my family, and it was such a huge deal. It was a conflict because my mom did not want me to go, and the reasons were obvious and understandable. First of all, I wasted whole two years (I was already close to junior) and two-year tuition in university in Tokyo. Second of all, I had to start over the college from the beginning at WWU in order to get a bachelor degree. Third of all, obviously I could not afford the living costs and tuitions so I needed to get financial supports from my parents, and perhaps from my siblings as well. Finally, I had to leave everyone and everything in Japan (family, friends, job, piano, badminton club and so on) and go away to the 17-hour time difference foreign country by myself.

I knew that she would not agree with me, but I just could not give up on this study abroad at WWU. I had a strong desire for this, so I decided to face to her. I was scared because of the power distance between my mom and me.

I decided to have a family meeting, and for the first time, I won against my mom.

I talked with her and my family about what I want, what I value, what I have passion about. (…I wish I had an awareness wheel!) Then She told me what she wants me to do, what she believes about the study abroad. After the conversation, I made a list of the benefits that I could potentially make at WWU, and specific budget list to show her how much it would cost each year.

In the second conversation with her, I showed the lists and convinced her. I promised with her that I will contact with her once in a while and keep her updated about school, and also I am going to pay her back the all costs after I graduate. I collaborated with her and came to such a good decision. And now my mom and I are both happy about it.

This was the most meaningful conflict that I had in my life.

It is much harder to have conflict with her than with my dad because power distance between me and my mom is bigger than between my dad. I think that this whole family dynamics with my mom, my dad, and me can transfer to workplace. If there is a power distance between two parties, it is hard to face to conflicts. If the other party was your boss or on higher position than yours, that hierarchy makes it harder to assert your opinion. However, when something was against your value and believes, it is much better to collaborate or accommodate instead of to compromise or to avoid. The outcome of the conflict strengthen relationships.

It is really important to use wisely your conflict styles; Competing, Compromising, Avoiding, Accommodating, Collaborating. If I could use those five conflict styles depending on the situation, it would create healthy workplaces. I have learned from the conflict with my mom that it is much healthier to accommodate when it comes to your passion.

A little note on the side....

This is the reason why I should go home after I graduate instead of break the promise with my mom. I promised my parents to get a job IN JAPAN to pay back money and time that we are apart from each other. It is a rough decision, but she is now compromising by letting me do what I want to do in Bellingham.

Since I moved away from home, being in this situation where I have to deal with everything by myself, I learned a lot of important things of life; how to disclose my feelings and to create better relationships with others. I can say this with confidence; I am a strong, independent, grown person who is capable of any conflicts. I really appreciate my parents to let me have this great opportunity. What do my guts say? Yeah, I want to travel around the world and see other cultures, so bad. I want to take all opportunity that comes to me if that makes that happen, (and this is why I wanna do intern abroad).

On the other hands, I understand that now is the time to go home and to compromise.

What would you do? Should I do what my guts say or should I fulfill the promise with my parents? Do I have to say good-bye to my friends in Bellingham? Do I leave my friends again?

---conflicts are the hardest.

Blog Post #2 : Empathy and Ecotourism

I found a strong connection between empathy and ecotourism when RECR 379 (Foundation of Ecotourism) had guest speakers from a community-based tourism company, Crooked Trail (http://crookedtrails.org/). The purpose of Community-based Tourism is to improve welfare of the local community. The Crooked Trails is “an educational non-profit organization helping people broaden their understanding of the impact of travel on the world’s cultures and ecosystems through educational outreach and sustainable travel programs” (the Crooke Trail, n.d.). I was fascinated by the mission statements, and what they do for the local communities. Without empathy, I do not think anyone can be an ecotourist because ecotourism may not benefit the travelers, but only the local community. It is possible that the travelers sacrifice for the local people to help the environment, economy, and their welfare.

According to Bolton in People Skills, there are three components of empathy.

    1.     Sensitive and accurate understanding of feelings

    2.     Understanding situation that contributed or triggered those feelings

    3.     Communicating so feel understood & accepted

In addition, according to the International Ecotourism Society, ecotourism has to meet those principles.

In order to follow those principles, it is necessary to meet the three components of empathy for the organization. Groch et al (2012) believe that successful ecotourism companies have social empathy that require understanding of a community’s entire local situation, from geological factors to political history to the language and customs of the local people (p. 155). This idea directly ties to two of the component of empathy; sensitive and accurate understanding of feeling, and understanding situation that contributed or triggered those feeling. Without understanding and caring, there may not think of making an ecotourism organization. The guest speakers said that they wanted to make the organization because they met locals when they traveled there for another reason. When they met locals, they decided to start their community-based tourism business because of their "empathy". Understanding the local community is the first step to PLAN on making an ecotourism organization. In addition, good long-term relationships with locals are the key for ecotourism. In fact, the Crooked Trail meets a third of the components of empathy —communicating understood & accepted—by letting the locals have power with decision-making. They said that the locals have the absolute power of decision-making; it would be cancelled if the schedule does not work for the local community.

Groch et al (2012) also discuss how empathy plays role on ecotourism. They say that what they called “social empahty” is important, which stresses contextual understanding and social responsibility, and built on a foundation of individual empathy. Groch et al state that in order to maintain long-term relationships between locals, social empathy is essential with deep listening and abundant communication and continuously adjusting to better accommodate local cultural needs, instead of imposing aid on local people. Failing of empathy would threaten the existence of the ecotourism organization.

Personally, I have passion about cross-cultural experience and traveling, ,and that is how I got into ecotourism. I am fascinated by the idea of ecotourism. However, empathy is the hardest ones in Carl Rogers’ three essentials for me; understanding closest friends is hard, but understanding a community that I do not really know is even harder. Now, I am trying to get an ecotourism internship in Fiji because I would like to challenge myself and see what ecotourism is like in real life. I believe that I will improve on empathy, even if I ended up getting overwhelmed by everything about ecotourism.

In conclusion, ecotourism or ecotourism related organizations are all about empathy. It cannot be called “ecotourism organization”, if they do not truly follow the principals of ecotourism with empathy. Similarly, if the Crooked Trail does not have any components of empathy, it would not be “ecotourism”, but just tourism.

References

Crooked Trails | Travel With A Purpose. (n.d.). Retrieved February 7, 2015, from http://crookedtrails.org/

Kate Groch , Karen E. Gerdes , Elizabeth A. Segal & Maureen Groch (2012) The

Grassroots Londolozi Model of African Development: Social Empathy in Action, Journal of Community Practice, 20:1-2, 154-177, DOI: 10.1080/10705422.2012.644207

The International Ecotourism Society (n.d.) Retrieved February 7, 2015, from http://www.ecotourism.org/

Blog Post #1 : Personality vs. Behavior

The personality inventory makes me think of cultural differences. In my opinion, some of the traits Bolten states definitely depend on the culture (such as eye contact, gestures, and assertiveness). I believe that culture has a big influence on how people behave within a group, and that social behaviors shape individual personalities. Hong and Phua also believes that culture socially shapes individual behaviors(2013).

I argue that Bolten’s personality inventory has lack of cultural dimensions. According to Bolten’s personality inventory, I am Analytical. However, if you consider cultural differences between Japan and the US, I could be expressive in Japanese standards, but not in American standards. I could be analytical for American but not for Japanese.

The Hoftrede Dimensions examine national and organizational culture. Geert Hofstede conducted comprehensive studies of how values in the workplace are influenced by culture. He analyzed a large database of employee value scores collected within IBM between 1967 and 1973. The data covered more than 70 countries. (The Hofstede Centre, n.d.)

The difference between Bolton’s personality inventory is that Hsftede’s inventory is based on culture, whereas Bolton’s inventory could be within one culture or one society. Hofstede’s cultural compass is often used when you start a new business internationally or when a company enters a foreign country, because cultural difference can cause many conflicts or negative effect on your organization. Cultural difference can even lead a complete failure of your business. Hosftede’s cultural compass helps you understand not only in workplace but also in any situation where you need cultural competency.

Hofstede’s cultural inventory has six dimensions

1, Power Distance 2, Individualism/Collectivism 3, Masculinity/Femininity 4, Uncertainty Avoidance 5, Pragmatism (Short term vs long term orientation) 6, Indulgence/Restraint

For example: this graph shows scores on Japan in comparison with the US, because I have lived in those countries for long time.

No wonder I have some Analytical tendencies that many Japanese people would have!

The similarity of Bolton’s personality inventory and Hofstede Dimensions are that both have a broad idea of how people behave, and individuals within the types do not always behave the same. For example, even if you are expressive, you could have some tendencies of drivers, in terms of Bolton’s inventory. I have a lot of Japanese traits according to Hofstede’s dimensions, but I am more likely to be independent as an exception of Japanese traits.

In addition, David Vogner states that some scientists believe that culture may be adaptive (2012). I think I experienced the adaptation. My behavior has changed since I came here about two years ago. For example, I did not make eye contact before (and I believe a lot of Japanese people don’t neither), but now I do make eye contact because I have been influenced by American culture. One of my Japanese friends proved the change when I went home last summer; She said I have intense eye contact and she felt uncomfortable. However, I do not think my friends in America think I have intense eye contact.

In conclusion, culture shapes how you behave within a group, and that influences your personality. In other words, your behaviors may be adapted when you are in a different culture. Therefore, your personality may change as well.

p.s, you should go over the Hofstede's website. it's really interesting to see the cultural differences! 

References

Hong, Y., & Phua, D. Y. (2013). In search of culture's role in influencing individual social behaviour. Asian Journal Of Social Psychology, 16(1), 26-29. doi:10.1111/ajsp.12016

THE HOFSTEDE CENTRE. (n.d.). Retrieved January 26, 2015, from http://geert-hofstede.com/index.php

Vognar, D. (2012, October 1). How Important Is Culture in Shaping Our Behavior? Retrieved January 26, 2015, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-vognar/culture-influence-politics-life-_b_1724750.html